Madonna’s strict bathroom policy

Breaking News….World Exclusive…You read it here first!

Pascal Le Segretain

 


Madonna (who looks like a Russian Nun in the above photo) has no trouble with many, many things, but sharing a toilet seat with another human is a strict no-no. In fact, she’s reportedly so anal (sorry!) about it, she has her staff install a new toilet seat in every hotel room or concert venue she plays, and she won’t even let her boyfriend or her own children sit on Her Madgesty’s throne. That’s some serious personal hygiene protocol. Maybe she’s considerate and doesn’t want anyone to contract what she has?

Meanwhile, my inner five-year-old is really excited to make a bunch of terrible potty jokes.

 

“‘Madonna doesn’t even let her kids use her toilet,’ a friend tells In Touch. ‘It’s just her thing. She is very generous, but this is the one thing she doesn’t want to share,’ adds the pal, who explains that 53-year-old Madonna is very cautious when it comes to anyone else tinkling in her territory.” [via Celebitchy.]

This story is so ridiculous, I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t already read about the hotel room bit. But  in Madonna’s defence, if you’re going to have an idiosyncrasy, I guess it could be worse. My mother always told me the key to a happy marriage is having separate bathrooms. It may not have saved Madonna’s marriages, but that probably had little to do with errant toilet seats.

The thing I don’t really get is that if you’re already intimate with someone, like I imagine Madonna must be with her young companions, you’d think she could give them a bathroom pass every now and then. Like, what if it’s an emergency and he knows he’s not going to make it to the next potty in time – wouldn’t the alternative be worse? Also, her kids are made from her DNA, so they’d be the least likely candidates to, er, soil her amenities with strange bacteria. That’s some tough love, but I guess there’s no real logic when it comes to matters of the fart (ugh, sorry again!)

Anyway, what do you think: all for one and one for all, or keep your dirty cheeks off my throne?

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