Biker and the Bird

Ya know, people and some birds have some nerve.

There’s a trail close by here called a beltline, it’s where people jog, walk, bike and I walk my dogs on this trail sometimes. Early mornings I don’t take my dogs this route because there’s a bird that attacks me. And the first time this bird did that I suddenly got nightmare’s. Suddenly I have this fear of revenge of the birds. I have no clue what type of bird it is as I am not into birds, but they’re black with red on them. There are no pigeons around here, just black birds with red spots. They sometimes make loud calling sounds, and ever since I got attacked by a bird these sounds I hear now sound like alarm sounds to me.

“He’s walking by, prepare to attack!”

Next thing you’ll see is me chasing birds with a stick. “Land on my head again and you’ll be a squirrels meal!!!”. I just want to sit down and talk to these birds and say don’t worry I don’t want your fuckin chick eggs, I mean I could use the egg whites for my breakfast. And how could I reach it anyway when the nest is 100 ft up in the tree you dumb BIRD! Gawd, birds can be so stupid sometimes. Ha, just like people. I call them people with bird’s brain.

IN the winter when all the leaves fall and the tree’s are bare and naked you can see all the birds nests up in the trees.

The birds are probably going to fry this Thursday when it will be 48C in Toronto.

I’m just gonna walk out naked. How do you walk out in that heat with clothes on?

Anyway, today I was walking my dogs and I hear someone coming from behind me ringing his tacky bike bell. My dogs saw another dog and wanted to go up to them. So I didn’t grab them in time for this bike guy to pass through. What does he do? He stops and looks at me. And I ask him is there a problem? He said yes no. Then as he drove off he said I am the problem not my dogs????

Next time ring your bell well in advance and I will prepare my dogs for your passing by, ASSWIPE! You bird brain twat.

People in Toronto can be asswipes.

I am very courteous and walk on the side of the trail so people can bike and jog through. But you have those who think they own the fuckin trail and want it all for themselves. I even make sure my dogs stick to one side to not interfere, but this time it was a rare incidient where I DIDN’T PULL THEM TO THE SIDE FAST AND FAST ENOUGH FOR THE BIKE RIDER TWAT.

Maybe the bike seat was going up his ass. Maybe he needed it to.