It’s rare, but sometimes I bump into ex-friends at a store. Last year when I was at the grocery store at the self-serve check out, an ex-friend came up to me we chatted for a bit then I asked him if he needed a ride back home, he said sure, so I took him. During the short drive he brought up my past because a few years ago while conversing on the internet I told him some things that has happened all these years and then he asked me “what was I thinking?” and from there on he continued to judge me on that. But I quickly figured that the person who hasn’t changed was him.
Prior to this we haven’t had a face to face conversation in 11 years. We exchanged a few paragraphs on the internet as we “bumped” into each other on those dating sites. We exchanged numbers. And I regretted I did so. These days I stay away from negative people, and I don’t chase people, meaning if someone is not interested, I don’t give a rat’s ass and I move on in less than 1 second.
We had a long past, we were friends from 1992 to 1999. In 1999 we departed ways and never spoke to each other again. An odd time here and there we saw each other from a distance. And ignored. We just grew apart.
Unfortunately, in my life friends come and go. It’s rare to find a “real” friend. You know, the kind that don’t use you and betray you. In my 20’s I had all sorts of “friends”, now in my 30s it’s very different. These days it’s quality vs quantity.
From 2005 to 2006, within 11 months I’ve matured a lot and I’ve changed a lot. Most people don’t do that and if I havn’t done so I would be dead right now. Loooong story. Let’s just say I was a total mess.
I sort of bumped into another ex-friend today, when I turned my head I noticed that she was standing 5 feet away from me, I discreetly walked away hoping she didn’t see me, but I am sure she did. I went to stand in line to pay for my items, and there she is again and this time we looked at each other. But didn’t say a word. I thought perhaps this woman looked like her but no, it was her. And she was fully pregnant, again. She would be the last person to see pregnant, as I remember her she’s one of those people who thought that having a family meant something significant and it showed some type of statue. Perhaps she’s changed, I only remember her as being very self-centered, selffish person. I am not saying these types of people don’t have kids, HALLO, my brother is one of those people and he’s having child #3, poor kids.
Actually, this ex-friend was my brother’s ex-girl friend years ago, during their on and off on and off on and off relationship her and I got drunk, went clubbing and made fools of ourselves to the wee hours of the morning. Yea, so drunk that she would leave me alone in the club while she danced with men, then I eventually left her alone at the club, she’ll call me the next day and tell me off and say how awful I was to leave her alone because she could of got gang raped (somehow I think she would of enjoyed it), and my response would be then don’t be stupid bitch, you reap what you sow, and then we wouldn’t talk for a couple of weeks and after that do it again.
And it happened again when I paid for her trip to Mexico in 2004, after what she did to me on that trip our relationship ended. Cut off, have a nice life.
Unlike a lot of people, I’m not pretentious, so if I see someone I want to avoid I walk the opposite way as opposed to being fake and say “Oh, hey how are you? long time no see”, when really I am thinking “Oh boy, look who it is and I don’t care, cya.” Especially when I don’t have fond memories and memories I do have were us just getting drunk and acting stupid. Those days are long gone and I will not relive them.
Even if it’s a so-called sibling, last summer while I was driving my brother drove up to me with his wife and I faked the Hi and said okay gotta go.
It’s not that I am an asshole, it’s just that I don’t care for these people. They mean nothing to me. I have valid reasons and I stand by them. I don’t care if they were old friends or related to me. If you’re an asshole, you get double asshole back. They’re insignificant to me. They don’t add value to my life. They are the types that would only do things and expect something back. I could write forever on how my brother has treated me throughout my life.
It’s not like I have resentment towards them, I just don’t want to give them the time or day. Actions speak louder than words. And by avoiding them it’s my way of forgetting them, moving on.
There are a few people in my past I would like to see tho, one of them I tried looking her up on Facebook and other sites and I can’t locate her. She was a good friend. It just went too far, it ended up being sexual (thanx to Percocets) and more than friends and it wasn’t who I was. It was fun and interesting to say the least and I only have good memories of her, we never argued. She was a very sweet person, too soft and fragile to my liking but she was a good person. I was actually worried about her being too fragile, weak. There were reasons for it. And she needed to work on those issues.
We all have issues, some more than others. Some don’t want to admit they do which is an issue in itself.
But maybe I have sexuality identity issues, maybe I am straight? but how can that be if I am attracted to males parts?
Anyway, onto other stuff…
I tried something called Tabouli Salad that came in a DIY (Do-It-Yourself) box and I made some, it was awesome. It contains bulgur wheat which is a nutrition powerhouse. GO AND EAT SOME!!