Needle in the hay stack

Warning: Explicit language

Ever since I adopted my dogs I’ve learned a lot about myself.

One of the things I’ve learned was this; when I went to animal services to adopt a dog, I walked in with a breed in mind, purebred Golden Retriever or a Lab (which are rare to find at the shelters and the small breeds go quickly), but what I learned was if I went for something outside the box I may just surprise myself. And I did. I love dogs but I preferred the bigger breeds and now I have a small and medium size dog. I’ve been blessed with amazing dogs.

This could be the same when looking for a mate. Am I saying men are dogs? No. Then I would be saying I am one. But it’s the same relation to other things in life. We all have our ‘types’. In my experience I would lose a lot in life if I just stuck to a type. And all I needed to do was just open my mind a bit, step out of my comfort zone and welcome abundance in my life.

Many times I have posted my opinions on those dating web sites. Well, I have further to say about them. I frequent the dating sties a lot, it’s my unsucessful attempt to meet that ‘someone’. Since I work from home %98 of the time and I don’t get the chance to meet through other people, it’s my only option, or do I need to step outside the box and meet someone by taking night school courses or perhaps volunteer. If I did go out there and meet, I know I wouldn’t be single today. Why don’t I do it? Ha, you have an hour? Excuses.

Ever since I hit my 30s, I’ve not been getting the same attention as I did in my 20s, because honestly I was hotter back then (a whooping 6 years ago). On those sites, I was getting messages left right and center and I was also getting it that way too.

I think it’s a Canadian thing as well. Canadians are reserved people. Majority shrivel when they encounter someone outspoken or perhaps out there such as myself (mind you, my “out there” has tamed down), Searching for someone who’s into something meaningful, someone who’s at least a bit attractive (not adonis or model material, beauty fades..hellloooo), (it’s ironic that the one’s who do message me are out of my league), in Toronto, is like searching for a needle in a haystack.

If you cruise these dating sites, majority of the pictures are pictures of men’s ass spread open, a torso, an arm and of course their endowment. You’d think you’re looking through a meat market catalogue.

Some of these men have horse size penises, I often wonder what is one to do with that? And if a man gets it up his ass with this huge thing, something that you can use to play baseball with, I could imagine what happens when they take a crap. It must fall out like an atomic bomb. Ops, did you lose an intestine?

And I am sure the owner’s of one particular website make up fake profiles with pictures of models to make it look they have all the good looking guys on there. It’s just a concidence that there are 25 pages of men who are currently logged on and many have buffed bodies.

Then you have those who send you some ‘flirt’ sign or ‘interest’ thing, and if you respond to them they don’t respond? Why did you show interest in the first place if you’re not going to respond, you dunce!

And like myself, I see the same men on there, so I noticed that there was one guy who looked at all my profiles on all 2000 sites I am on, so I sent him an email and asked “So do you meet guys off here?”, I didn’t ask because I was interested in him but I noticed that he’s on there all the time, he said “no, it saves the disappointment”.  I am am like, THEN WHY ARE YOU ON HERE, you dumbass?? Because you wait for people like me to message you, to boast your ego? And I asked him that and he replied “Does it look like I need to have my ego boasted?”, I said “Um, yea, and you’re not all that, you stay there buddy.”

I am convinced there are too many retarded people out there and people who have their head up their ass.

They cannot carry on a conversation.

I’ll tell you why, a lot of these inferior people, (like most Canadians who have an inferiority complex), log on and wait for people to message them and when you say “hey, nice profile”, believe it or not I get many no responces, they don’t even have the decency to say “thank you”.  Get over yourself, I dont want to jump your bones. Then I question people I know and ask them “Am I that revolting?”.

And when you finally ask someone to the MSN Messenger part, they don’t want to converse, they want to meet you right away or they invite you over.  Riiiiiiiiight…. Not happening. How can someone just invite over a stranger like that? I did that in my wild days, but I have an excuse for it, I was under the influence of alcohol etc. But to know if the person is worthwhile, I want to converse for a bit. I am not going to waste my time going out there to meet when I don’t know what I am getting into.

You see, the older I get, the more logical I become. I think much differently then I did in my 20’s. I was almost a totally whole different person back then. These days, I am not interested in that one nighter, something about it I find it creepy, even back then I thought so to but I had more issues. Kissing some strangers lips and don’t even know they’ve been. But I allow my dogs to lick my face, sometimes. And we know where their tongue has been.

What’s worse is doing 69 and the person didn’t shower before meeting you. And you ask “How about a rub in the tub?”

I am more of a brain sex type of guy. Give me someone who’s got nice eyes (teeth, smile), intelligence and a sense of humor and I melt. Seems like a rarity.

Ohhh, and some padding. Mmmm Mmm Mmmmmm.