35 (Explicit, just a bit)

It seems like life has flashed on by me.

Lastnight I went out with a new friend whom I met at the park nearby, it was a very uncomfortable humid and sticky night. To celebrate my milestone of 35 years of life I wanted to step outside my comfort zone, a zone I’ve been living for a few years now. Living the quiet life. What was more uncomfortable was our seating at a place on College Street called ‘Eat My Martini’, they have every martini flavor you can think of. Even though we both have cars we cabbed our way downtown because we both were going to have a couple of drinks. And that’s all we had was a couple of drinks, well 3 in total not including the shot, a shot called ‘Liquid Cocaine’. Far from the real thing.

The establishment had the air conditioner on but not where we were seated, cramped beside a window. So we had only one drink there and two more at a more comfortable and a tad bit more expensive place across the street. In this case, you get what you pay for, I am all for that, if I have to pay for better product and service I’ll do it.

Even though I had good company the whole bar scene is such a bore, a big contrast to the old Joey life.  The life of partying and going wild. I look at it this way, you live once live it to the fullest. Seems like I’ve done a lot of the adventerous stuff. Much more to do thought. I even tried sex with a woman years ago and I kinda liked it, maybe because it was different. Something to do about eating her out, it was very octopussy. Don’t do it when it’s bloody though. I can’t be fooled in the dark, ya know. I may be gay but not stupid. Blood is blood. It feels different than um, those juices.

I see myself living with a woman and perhaps kids, but I don’t see myself sitting on the couch or bed making out with a woman. Pop a pill, lovey dovey, months later a kid and live happy ever after. I know for a fact I’ll be an excellent father. Being that person you wish you had. At the age of 35, time is ticking. But when the time comes..no tight underwear, no heated testicles, sperm producing foods, exercise and I’ll be all set for those tadpoles which will be strong to zip their way to pierce that egg.

Naw, I don’t know if I have patience for kids. But it seems like I need to produce some offspring. Anyway…

Tomorrow I have no big plans for my 35 years of life other than dinner with parents and grandmother (yawwwn). But for some odd reason everyone thought today was my birthday, how dare them. That would mean I would be more ‘Cancer’ than ‘Leo’. And we all know Leo is much more appealing than Cancer. All Leo’s like to flaunt their astrology sign, but I think it’s irrelevent. But something about Virgo’s, we don’t mesh together well, but it doesn’t mean I will exlude them from my life. I had someone tell me once “Oh I am a Taurus, and Leo’s and Tauras’s don’t get along, sorry”, I said “Sorry, I guess you will be missing out in life and it’s no skin off my ass..next.”

Anyway, back to lastnight…I realized how much I matured as I was feeling like a big geek, things I was interested in when I was younger are now a bore to me.  I don’t go out dancing like I used to, I don’t go wild if I have a couple of drinks like I used to. I am a MONK! I don’t even have sex like I used to. Kissing strangers lips just like that is unappealing to me, ha, faaaaaaar contrast to the old Joey. Rewind to 1998 when I was young and hot, I kissed everyone’s lips at a gay bar in Las Vegas. Someone dared me to, so I said Ok, so I asked people and they said ok. Knock on wood, no herpes or other nasty bugs. Trust me, someone has been watching over me in that department.

Things you can do when you’re young.

When I was 21, I danced and sang out loud on the streets downtown, wanting to get noticed, obviously that didn’t work out. If that wasn’t enough my friend and I danced and sang loud to music in the car.

Things you can do when you’re young.

When I was 21, I packed my stuff and met men and flew all over the US and stayed with them for a few days. Who does that? that’s insane!!! Well, same with carrying a backpack of CDs, taking off to NYC with dreams of becoming the male Madonna. And because I was young all sorts of people promised something but where all flakes. I even met the president of ACTRA or whatever the equivalent is to the Actors Union in the US. He wanted me to give him a blowjob in his his office. I said to him before I do that can you get me a part in a show? He said you don’t have a work permit. I said, no deal and left.

I am not cheap.

Things you can do when you’re young.

A wealthy gay couple paid for my travels to visit them in the US, they wanted to adopt me at 23, pay for my schooling and shelter while I was their “houseboy”. They were going to give me access to their cars to do errands etc. I had the luxury to travel between their New Jersey mansion and their ocean view condo in Miami. When i couldn’t get it right, mopping their floors on all occasions had residue, that’s when I learned the houseboy thing wasn’t for me. One of them was happy I wanted to leave because the other guy was too into me. Usually happens to me in 3 ways.

There are a few more of these stories in NYC, Plam Springs, Virgina, Oklahoma, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Kansas, but with all the people I’ve met, except for two, none of them involved sex. But there were rumors of over the net that I was an escort.

So with the other stuff in my life, I could say I had an adventurous and risky life. And I’m alive to tell the story!! I still wanna climb Everest mountain.

Things I couldn’t and wouldn’t do at this ripen age of 35.

So from here on in, no more counting birthdays. Besides age is just a number. It’s how you feel inside. Sometimes I feel old on the outside, the gray hairs etc, which could be the lack of sex and no lover. But again, bad sex and romance can do the same thing.

So tomorrow I’m gonna eat my piece of cake and die my hair.