Honestly, I’ve never even heard of Dr. Laura Schslinger until one day I was playing with the channels on my XM/Sirus Radio couple months ago. Ever since I started to listen to her show and her providing professional, no bullshit, straight talk advice to callers I got hooked and then subscribed to her podcasts. Listening to her show on the radio is annoying with all the commercials, half of the on air broadcast are commercials. I personally think she’s brilliant. I would love to have a psychotherapist like her. And I know many others that would benefit from therapy as well, but they just won’t acknowledge it.
So because I research everything, I mean everything, even products/cars etc. According to that online thing called wikipedia, it said years ago Dr. Laura made nasty comments about gays, including “gays are a biological error”. Spreading hate, in other words. I didn’t put too much thought intoto it, because everyone is entitled to their opinion, I even have nasty opinions, for example from my experience and observation it is in my opinion that paki’s and people alike that immigrate to Canada for a better life, once they get here instead of being grateful, they have this “Canada owes me everything” attitude. Immigrating to a country, weather it’s Canada, Australia, USA, UK etc is not a right, it’s a privledge. Just like a driver’s licence.
Moving on…coincidently Dr.Laura responded to the so-called lies that people have been saying about her and her view on gays and here’s the transcript…
My blog today has to do with teaching you how to respond to lies. Most importantly, lies about me. At 63 years of age (okay, 63 and a half), I am absolutely blown away by the casual meanness and vulgarity that passes for opinion and discourse. In my early years, if you wrote or verbally gave an argument that had even a tinge of nastiness (forget the vulgarity), both you and your point of view would be flushed…intellectually disqualified. Nowadays though, people feel frighteningly free to criticize with vulgarities, insults, lies, exaggerations, misrepresentations, character assassination and downright ferocious meanness.
Nothing new here. I’ve been commenting on this for a while, but last night a friend approached me…a friend approached me and asked me how he should handle a particular situation. (I thought I was getting into “Dr. Laura gear”). Somebody had contacted him and challenged him about being my friend because, (and to quote that person) “she hates gays”. For almost a dozen years (I think they’re automatically renewed computer-wise daily…you’ve probably seen it or heard about it), a blog appears under different sources, ostensibly asking me to answer questions about some of the Bible’s entries about slavery, daughters…so forth. It supposes that I ever quoted Leviticus that homosexuality is an abomination. That never happened. I repeat: that never happened. I never said that. I don’t believe that.
In fact (which they will deny…don’t you love activism?) I was one of the earliest radio hosts to support organizations such as PFLAG (you know, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and other efforts to encourage openness and acceptance of gays in their own families, much less society. But to my surprise (but not naivetë), to many activists, truth is irrelevant when the intent is to rally support through raising passions, especially negative passions. Get people angry and they stop thinking for themselves.
Here’s the truth: I’m for marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. I’m for children having the benefit of a married mommy and daddy, which by the way also means that you straight women should not intentionally exclude a daddy from your kid’s lives just because you want to be a mommy. But most importantly, you listen every day, you hear I take calls almost daily from gay men and women asking my advice on personal and family matters. These are the people who know the truth about me because, you know what, they actually listen to my daily radio program. They call because they know I can and will help. And every week I receive letters from listeners and fans who are gay and thank me when I take a call or read a letter from another gay listener, and here’s what they think, in their own words (let me get this ready…okay):
“Thank you for reading the email from the gay gentleman. I’m a gay woman (I don’t like the word ‘lesbian’) [she writes] and listen to you faithfully. I applaud you for protecting children and keeping people on the right path. I echo the feelings of the gay man who emailed you today. I am and have been single for 10 years. I just wanted to let you know how much I agree with you on how to make relationships work. I only wish I had found you before my partner left. If I had, I don’t think she would have ended the relationship. I hope more people in gay relationships will listen to you.”
Here’s another one:
“I just heard you read the email over the air from the faithful gay listener. Add me to the column! I’m a gay male in central Virginia who listens to you every day after I get home from work. I’ve been listening regularly for the past three years and I wouldn’t miss it. Gay or straight…white, black, green, purple, or blue…Momma Laura knows how to knock some sense into people’s heads.”
[Laughs] And, something I saved…something I saved. Here’s a call I got recently from a gay listener [listen to the audio here]
Caller: Thank you Dr. Laura.
Dr. L: Thank you.
Caller: I have to say, right off the bat that I need to apologize to you publicly because I wrote you a nasty-gram under the impression that you were against gay people. And I know better now, so I deeply apologize for that.
Dr. L: Thank you. How kind of you and thank you very much, and I accept your apology.
Caller: Thank you.
In fact, I get (brace yourself) disappointed and angry emails each week from people upset that I help gay callers. I give advice to gays and lesbians who call my show. One radio station dropped me because I give advice to gays and lesbians. Quite openly, I have been personally very hurt over the years with the misrepresentation which has led to a generation of folks who haven’t read my books, haven’t attended a “one-woman show”, haven’t listened to my radio show, yet presumed to know me and what I stand for. Having people believe that I’m a bigot and hate me…and “hate” is the word…is horrible, frustrating, demoralizing and unbelievably painful.
So my answer to my friend who wanted to know what he should say to people who challenge him being my friend, is to tell those people to listen to my show. I am happy to have any and all draw their own conclusions about me from an informed position, for a change, by listening to my program for a month or two. So there is a lesson in all of this: don’t let anybody tell you how to feel about another person without exploring the situation yourself and don’t waste hate. Save hate for those who…like the Taliban, hang to their necks until dead seven year old children in order to scare a village and take control. That’s where hate ought to go.
Two of the aspects of human behavior that cement friendships (which are important for emotional well being) are sensitivity and compassion. I had a recent experience with a friend that is so illustrative of those qualities that I wanted to share it with you.
I had an upsetting change in my life lately – not earth-shattering, but upsetting all the same. I shared it with my friend who was (I thought) sufficiently responsive to the situation. She called later that evening and told me she owed me an apology! For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine what she’d done that required an apology. She went on to say she knew this “change” was sad for me, and she regretted she hadn’t been more responsive. She explained she was driving and distracted, and felt she gave it “short shrift.” She then went on to give me some very thoughtful and supportive feedback concerning my situation.
I teared up. Truthfully, I was satisfied with her first response. But I was blown away by her concern for my feelings and her sense of responsibility as a dear friend to pay more attention to administering support and understanding. THAT IS A GREAT FRIEND!
One time at breakfast, she mentioned at some point she would probably do or say something that annoyed me. I laughed, and said “You already have!” We laughed together. I went on to say, “You are such a special person and friend that annoyances don’t even matter.”
Everyone has quirks. But when someone takes the time – when you take the time – to consider what your friend may need, and do your best to supply what a friend can, you probably have a special place in heaven with your name on it.
If not, you have a special place in the heart of the person who calls you…friend.
Check out her video blog at http://www.youtube.com/drlaura