Dead End? Or hindsight?

I’ve got quite the past.  Long stories, many chapters much like a book and if it were to be made into a one it would quite the comedy/horror and drama. Unfortunately romance doesn’t fit the equation.

I’ve traveled to many many places and countries, trying to find myself.

However a lot of times I think it’s the end. A dead end.

What else am I here for, I wonder. What’s my purpose. If I am not dead yet, what other reason am I here.

Here’s another attempt to fixing the broken, broken into million pieces.

She asked, do you have suicidal thoughts? I said many times, but never acted on it.

Like an outdated machine, I wish I can rewind and redo.

I can’t keep going in circles.

I don’t think I’ve got the balls to take my own life, but one day when I have the courage all the hurt inside will die.

That’s when I’ll be free.

As of today, I am no longer part of my family.

I am not an uncle, a son and a brother. They’ve lost someone good.

You live and learn.

You know you’re healthy when you can walk away and expect nothing less.