About Face (edited)

“I wanna hold ’em like they do in Texas please. Fold ’em let ’em hit me raise it baby stay with me. (I love it). LoveGame intuition play the cards with spades to start. And after he’s been hooked I’ll play the one that’s on his heart.” 

This is so gay that I am quoting a S S S song.

IN 2010 I plan to make major changes in my life, and that’s only a few days from now.

The time is now. I’m not getting any younger and time is ticking. I don’t have any New Years Resolution’s persay since I have no vices such as smoking, drinking or any other addiction.  I wouldn’t mind having a sex addiction, actually. So my goal is to make a life makeover, and it allows me to focus on that. I will bring out the Joey I once knew like when I was in my early 20’s, the inspired and ambitious, more than ever. I had so many dreams and aspirations. I wanted to conquer it all.

It quickly went down the drain at the age of 25 when I took the very dark and destructive route. I feel like I wasted 6 years of my life.

The last time someone said they didn’t see themselves getting old was Freddie Mercury and he died at 40.

And when the life makeover happens, I will say to all, EAT YOUR HEART OUT, BITCHES and tramps and sluts.

I think I thought of all this mainly because I just watched the whole season of the ‘Million Dollar Listing’ on iTunes. Nothing better than to watch crappy entertainment on a Sunday.

Is this normal? Or should I even ask since I am not normal. I didn’t want to do a thing today, not a thing. Just laid here like a log. I woke up this morning at 11:30am, it felt like I woke up from a coma. I’ve not slept in this late since the party years. We got home at 2:30am, I drove both ways lastnight, I was dragged into going to CasinoRama which is about 1.5 hours north of me in the middle of nowhere, literally. It was funny and spooky as we drove past the lone homes, never in a million years would I live in a home where it’s the only house in the middle of a field, it’s what a lot of horror films are made from. Very eerie.

I don’t gamble at casinos, nor do I understand it, well, now I do somewhat But it’s obvious I do take risks in other things in life. My sister gave me a crash course about Blackjack. she had a gambling addiction, they lived in Las Vegas for a few years before moving back to Toronto. I think gambling is extremely boring. But I went along with them for them. I yawn playing the slot machines. I can’t believe they don’t have coins anymore. It’s all computerized. That sucks. It’s the ching ching (no, I’m not referring to chinese people), that makes it exciting. Just like everything else in life. Standing around the tables where they do the card stuff and deal things while people watch their money go to waste,  with all this gambling people were doing all I wanted to do was dance to Lady GaGa’s ‘Poker Face’. But the song was only playing in my head.

So, as I lie here and type this blog, I feel extremely exhausted. And I don’t feel like getting up, I feel lifeless. Not only did I drive for 3 hours yesterday after I was stupid enough to with family to the mall. I endured a few hours of torture. I warned them to not go because of all the people, but like always no one is listening. The whole boxing day event is so over-rated. People were fighting for parking spots. I hate malls. Did I tell you how much I dispise malls. With passion.

About 1 hour scouring for a parking space, everyone except my father went into the mall, while he looked for space. The parking lot was so pack, we couldn’t even drive around and look for a spot. The mall was packed, so packed that we couldn’t even walk around. It was exhausting, not walking but the amount of people.

It’s no wonder I don’t feel like leaving my home today.

The sad part, no one thought it was wrong and that I was over reacting. Like who does that? Please sit in the car and babysit my child while we shop for a couple of hours.

And of course they apologized, they needed someone to drive them to CasinoRama. I forgot I had STUPID written on my forehead.

NEVER again.

Welcome back, family. 10 years later.

You live and learn.

Superficial at it’s best.

If it weren’t old friends, it’s the family. You teach people how to treat you. Some people cannot be taught. Am I this slow? I don’t get it.

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