Octopussy in the heart shaped jacuzzi (revised)

I don’t put variety into my meals, and it’s usually the same boring thing all the time. For dinner it’s usually chicken or salmon and it gets very bland after a while. So for dinner today I ordered in Chinese food from a local restaurant here in Toronto, Mandarin. I usually order in the Garlic and Pepper Shrimp, some chicken dish and a shrimp roll and I pig out like I’ve not seen food before. But, damn it was so good. My taste buds was taking in every single flavour and savouring the moment it rarely enjoys. I think I’m gonna croak.

Oh well.

Warning: Movie Spoiler Alert

After loving the movie ‘Borat’ in 2007 (Borat is one of the best comedies I’ve ever seen),  I was expecting a good laugh with ‘Bruno. For the first 1/2 of the movie it was obvious that it was staged and thus the reason why only 1/2 of it was a bit funny, as matter of fact for the first 1/2 of the movie I wasn’t even laughing. I would think the goal was to make it look like it was not staged, he didn’t succeed this time around. Perhaps I lost my sense of humor, but after reading reviews, it’s evident I’m not the only one. There are scenes of soft porn, penis wobbling, objects up the ass etc.. So, for the most part is wasn’t a good comedy movie. I would give it 2 stars of 5. And it couldn’t be anymore stereotypical, which was his intention, but too over done. Not the most brilliant comedy either. If you wanted to see this movie, I would suggest waiting for it to be released onto DVD.

Toronto City workers are still on strike, it’s been a month now. It’s a known fact that ever since our mayor (David Miller) took over our previous mayor, our city has got worse. He’s got to be one of the worst mayors Toronto has ever had. When the city went on strike in 2002, our previous mayor brought in the back to work legislation and after 14 days the city workers had to get back to work. This time around, this mayor is handling it poorly and the city has been looking ugly with all the garbage everywhere. It’s disgusting. In my opinion, all of these strikers should be fired and replaced with those who would love to do their over-paying job. Fire the idiots and get rid of the spoiled brats, that would solve it. Motherf***ers!!!

A few weeks ago, shortly after dating the one week one, I had a one week phone date with another one. I cut it short, we were arguing on the phone before we even met. The goal in any relationship is for your partner to bring out the best in you. And I told them, listen cupcake, you’re bringing out the worst in me, it’s not going to work out.

Any women out there wanna date? Cause at this rate, I’m willing for you to use a strap on and getting the show on the road, this gay stuff isn’t working out too well. If you want kids, I got the man juice. Let’s go, time is ticking….viagara, strap-on, candle wax, and a suite in Niagara Falls.

I remember it like as if it were yesterday. My first encounter with a woman. Picture it, 2004. We were *floating, in a different world. I hop into the tub, and call her over. The bathroom is pitch dark except for candles. The obese but pretty woman enters the tub and suddenly causes a flood. The candles blow out and my fingers end up in a place they’ve never been before.  I know she was waiting for this night to come. Ever since that night, we tramped the hotels looking for jacquzzi’s and had wild times. Always ended up in some hotel in downtown Toronto, we liked the heart shaped jacquzzi.

OMG! I like OCTOPUSSY!

I think I just pulled hair out of my head..Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

But. There was no push push in the bush going on. No Oh NO oh NO. Just carpet cleaning.

When we were *floating, I said I wanted her babies.

It’s been said that Toronto is a small version of New York, a city where you don’t need a car unless you work outside of Toronto. The bus system here is excellent for the most part, except for last Friday ,I thought I was gonna snap. So, even though one may take a bus here it doesn’t mean they’ve reached rock bottom. I mean it’s not like it’s Los Angeles, a place where you need a car. Owning a car in Toronto is a waste of money. You have to pay parking everywhere, doesn’t matter if it’s in a ditch, or in a manhole, you gotta pay the $20 parking. I’m a proud frugal.

What most people are afraid to admit, I’m a proud admitter, if that is a word.

 I’ve been asked what am I doing for my birthday next week, and the answer is getting a face lift, I’m getting older people. Naw, if anything I would get a tummy tuck. Imagine that, a tummy tuck gift certificate. I would lick someone’s asshole everyday if they gave me a tummy tuck gift certificate. And I don’t do that, so that says a lot.

Monday night, my camera and I.

Two years later.

Better view??

Big bucks, alright.

all alone.

just me and I

i and me

 

me, myself and i

 

*another word meaning high, back in the day I was a wild party animal