Self-Defeating Pro (revised)

Excuse me while I self indulge for a minute or two..But ever since I’ve hit my 30’s I’m getting old. It’s not the same when I was in my 20’s, I mean health wise  I feel the same, but I think I’ve aged a lot. Perhaps, it’s from the circumstances I’ve put myself through and the partying. For those youths who party hard, trust me you’ll not notice it now, but give it a few years. And I know people much older than me will hate me for saying this. But, ever since the hair started to go, I just think I look older and when I look in the mirror my demons see an older person (I’m photogenic). I took that ‘RealAge’test and I’m actually 29 years old, 4-5 years younger than my chronological, (based on my lifestyle, health info etc), so why am I stressing, right?

Well, I am doing just that, I’m stressing. I’ve been getting more grey hairs lately and that makes me even more insecure. We all have our insecurities, those who think they’re perfect are very delusional.

So, today, I went out and bought that hair color for men box and dyed my hair my natural hair color, dark brown. The gray hairs are on the sides. And for $12.49 plus tax, I’ve concealed that old ripen age. I just need something in a box that grows hair, kinda like Chea-Pet. But for the past 4 years I’ve been taking Propecia, and for $60/month I prevent hair loss. You’re not going to suddenly get a full set of hair, it prevents loss. You have to start the medication at the first signs of hairloss., I recommend going on it., if you’re the person. For me, there are hardly any side affects. Insurance companies will not cover it because it’s for cosmetic reasons, however if you get ‘Proscar’ the same thing but in 4mg and if you equally cut the pill in 4’s, you can get it on your insurance, but I don’t recommend it because you don’t know if you’re getting the full dose when cutting in 4’s. Proscar is used for prostate enlargement, but in 1mg dose which is what Propecia is, it’s shown to be affective for hair loss. It’s a way for those pharmaceuticals earn more money.

Just like how that medication ‘Effexor’ an anti-depressant, the company that makes it is losing it’s patent, which means generic brands will be coming, so what do they do? They come out with ‘Pristiq’, the same thing as ‘Effexor’, Effexor is the brand name for Venlafaxine, Pristiq is the brand name for Desvenlafaxine, both are SNRI’s and almost identical, but they claim it has less side-affects and a months supply of Pristiq will cost you $100 or so. Both medications are known to be much better than the other anti-depressants such as Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil etc and with a lot less side affects.  How do I know all this? I read a lot of, a lot of it useless info.

Back to the hair loss…Not too long ago when I had more hair on my head and when I was youthful and carefree, I used the alias ‘SexyCanadianLeo’ on the internet. It’s been 4-5 years since I’ve let go of that, I mean after all it’s only self inflating, so I have let go of that image, but Ladies and Gent’s and those in-between, I think I should reclaim my title back! It’s time to be proud of what god gave me, embrace aging process and it’s time to stop the self-defeating.

I still want that tummy tucking sucking pucking surgery tho.

And I know I’ve been through a lot in the last 7 years, and I know those years probably added some age to the clock, and I know I have to accept the fact that there are things beyond my control and accept things how they are. Let’s not deny the fact that we live in a superficial world and that image is everything. When what’s important is the inside. You can be drop dead gorgeous and have that Adonis body, but at the end of the day if you’re an asshole, those drop dead looks disappear and you suddenly become medusa. That’s why those dating sites don’t really work. All you can rely on are the pictures, that’s if you care of them. Words mean so little on a dating site, if the guy in the picture isn’t your type you move on. But are they really your type? You can hook up with someone who’s your type physically but may have absolutely nothing in common or are on two different wavelengths.

And if it’s mostly based on sex and looks, it usually fades away, just like beauty.

 I’ve lived it when I had it going on.