Broken Open

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Everyday when I’m doing my thing, I observe my surroundings. What I’ve noticed is that people are too  consumed with themselves, this is what I like to call the selfish and self-absorbency social disease. There are many different types of social diseases, and that’s why there’s chaos.

Especially when I am driving, there are idiots that are in a hurry in the harsh snowy weather when roads are slippery with black ice, drivers cut off the person in front of them not to care about the safety of others. There are people who should be kept home and off the roads for the sake of other people PERIOD. Then there ere people who cut in line at the grocery store because leaving a store 30 seconds longer will make a difference in their life. And then we have more ASSHOLES who have the nerve to take my parking spot, I’m sure when I opened my window and called him an idiot and a self absorbed asshole, it meant nothing to him. I’m lucky, I’m not violent.

Then you have those who are not grateful and tend to forget the good things people have done for them.

Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others.

They say that you gotta let go of resentment, but what happens when it’s a constant ongoing cycle? Do we have to be a punching bag to the toxic people? I don’t care what “they” say, I will do what I believe is right and not according to someone who read a few textbooks on psychology,it’s because we work in different ways, we are to be the owner’s of our own destiny. Everyone is unique and different. If we are like other people, then we are not expressing our own specialness.

When you make a positive impact on someone’s life, its worth more than anything money can buy. Even the smallest of things which may be big to someone else. Making a difference can be a contagious thing, there’s too much self absorbency in this world, people in their own world going their way. Wither it’s to motivate someone to make a change in their life or to help someone in need, it’s a non toxic drug that makes the brain blast with endorphins.

As I get older, I’ve realized I’ve become more harsh on myself, another form of self-sabotage. But it’s about being kind to myself and to treat myself with respect as opposed to constant negative thoughts that race through my mind here and there. I can pat myself on the back for being the first to stand up to admit and to be a real man pointing out my flaws and faults, but to work on improving them is a standing ovation. But what happens when these faults and flaws are not really there and just an imagination?

Those three words I’ve heard too many times.

Everything in my life-every experience, every relationship- is a mirror of the mental pattern that is going on inside of me. The faults we point out in other people is a mirror of what we see in ourselves. It’s the insecurities and low self-esteem we all have, most of us do it. If I wait until I become perfect before I love myself, I will waste my whole life on waiting on something that doesn’t even exist. Maybe, I am already perfect right here and right now, maybe whatever is happening out there is only a mirror of my own limited thinking?

I don’t want to use yesterday’s mental garbage to create tomorrow’s experiences, it’s about creating fresh new thoughts and a fresh new life. Out of line, out of sight, let it go. Free myself from the demons that I constantly battle and let the past not interfere with my future.

ONLY IF I practise what I preach I would be in a better place.

ONLY IF I don’t give people the time or day, my self esteem and confidence wouldn’t be at the all time low. Just like the stock markets and everything else that makes this world go round.

I’ve decided to go onto a spiritual journey. Something is prohibiting me from being myself. Perhaps the past that is still in present and something else that I’ve not realized. I need to see the light that leads me on the journey of happiness and fulfillment. I’ve been stuck for awhile and now is the time to take action, I can’t sit and wait til I’m old, I can’t look back and say “I should of”. I want to find peace within myself, the insanity has to stop and the time is NOW!

It’s about forgiving of yourself, getting back on the wagon so to speak. It’s about healing the pain and suffering, loving of one self, in need the power of love within ourselves and I’m not talking about the narcissistic self lover type, but sometimes it’s hard to love your self if one is taught that they’re unlovable, all this is taught when you’re young and then when you’re older you’re unraveling the many layers of conditioning from childhood that told you something is wrong with you. For some it can take years to heal and you can layer on all the scriptures but never really get it. This is not the “poor me” syndrome, it’s about working to the core and finding the good within ourselves.

When Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, there will be peace in this world.

2009 is the year of change!!

Isn’t it crazy that I’m chasing useless scumbags who are not a bit my type, how insane is that? They have you fooled, when I realize that the problem is them and not me and what makes this all better is that I snap out of it quickly, pick myself up again and dust it off like it never happened. I’ve done this too often enough.

Walk into a room and make it as if you’re the ONE for whatever you’re seeking.