If I were American. I would be famous.

CAUTION: If you’re eating something delicious, please stop eating.

It was bad, really bad. It was coming out out of both ends and it was not pretty. Well, it’s not a pretty ordeal. I am talking about food poisoning. Thursday night was something I’ve never experienced before. All I know is that my body was trying to get rid of it every way possible, and I don’t want to disgust but whatever I ate, which could of been Spinach, tomatoes or botulism.

My friend who may stuff her face with fatty things, she is certain eating too healthy causes health problems. Besides this episode I’ve never experienced any food poisoning and when has eating healthy make you sick? The most it will do is make you cranky and bitchy. I’m guessing her idea of healthy is devouring a plate of chicken wings, fries, chips, melted cheese over tacos, or whatever her healthy is, but damn it tastes finger lickin good when you do, but then you want to vomit like if you had food poisoning. How many times has someone died from eating too healthy???? 

Actually on rare occasions when I eat really tasty fatty non healthy foods it’s like an orgasm, perhaps that’s why I am bitchy a lot, but I don’t experience enough fatty orgasms. At my age of 28…cough..it’s sad that I don’t experience enough orgasms, cause when I’m older it will be difficult to get some, who would want to romp with someone old with a wrinkled saggy ass. Nah..No wrinkled ass..No No NO.

I can smell it from hereSo, you might be wondering why I am at home bedridden with the after affects of food poisoning writing this journal when I could be at the Madonna concert watching her expose her 50 year old crotch at the Air Canada Centre?? Well, mostly it’s because I couldn’t justify wasting $368 on something and have nothing to show for it. It’s not that I can’t afford it, cause that’s not the case, I just think it would be better to help the needy than to give money to someone who already has $500 million. It’s also because I’ve read some on this concert and most of the music is from her her new album which I think sucks ass. Madonna has been recycling too much of her old tunes.

Nah..I love Madonna, she’s my favourite whore.

IN other news..My brother is a proud new father of a baby girl. Congratulations to him and his wife.

Sarah Palin on SNL lastnight, it was ok, I was expecting more. Last night’s ratings broke a SNL record, 17 million people tuned in to watch the most unqualified vice-president  candidate on SNL, the highest ratings in SNL history. Good ole America, where people become famous for crappy things. For US sake I hope people are laughing at her and not with her, BAD..not good to laugh at people. Then we have her partner in crime and maverick McCain who was on Letterman last week and he kept saying “I made a mistake’  for cancelling Letterman at the last minute and being dishonest for why he didn’t show up, I wonder if that’s what he’ll be saying a lot if he were elected into office, “I made a mistake”, but I know that’s what America would be making if they choose this shit for brains party. He claims he’s not Bush, but he certainly lives by the same policy!

I would be famous if I lived in the USofA.  And If your grandma can juggle her breasts, she can be famous too!!

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