Big packages make you scream

You know, I am fuckin happy that my neighbours have a wild sex life, but really, I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT! I am not bitter.

At 3am lastnight I was awaken by LOUD thumps on my ceiling, there were screams from a woman, screams I really didn’t need to hear, but it sounded like someone was giving it to her really good. I thought I was losing my mind because at first when my eyes opened quickly to the disturbance I thought there were ghosts in my apartment, but I looked around my dark room and there were no ghosts.

 C’mon, I know I live in an old building, I am guessing it was built in the 1960’s perhaps and I’ve been told that walls were made shallow back then, and I’m convinced that if you were to punch the wall you’ll end up at my next door neighbours apartment, and if you were to do so, do it when he’s riding her booty.     


The other day, the neighbour across the hall told me that this building used to be a seniors building. That same night I had a dream/nightmare that my building is a mental institute and a place where a lot of seniors have died here, their souls have been left behind, which explains the ghosts. And I was running in the hallways running from a ghost. The lights in the hallway were flickering. And then,  I passed the apartment where the obnoxious orgasm screams were coming from, I walk into the apartment while holding a screwdriver as a weapon and ….I can’t tell you the rest.

Anyway, there are ghosts here and I’m not too crazy about it. I have to keep one eye shut when I sleep.  For example I turned off my laptop one night before going to bed and suddenly it was turned on again, I turned it off, and it was turned on again. The only way I was able to stop it was by removing the battery and plug. Maybe laptops do that sometimes because that’s what they do sometimes?

 And I can’t blame the cheap drugs because I’ve not done that in 2.5 years.

Perhaps, all the ruckus from upstairs were really ghostly spirits.  She said seniors..My gawd, how many people have died here? She did say it used to be a seniors building. The screaming started as soon as I started to fall asleep, there was not one sound before I went to bed. It usually begins with the sound of a drawer slam …very odd, maybe they were getting the dildo?  But if it were ghosts it didn’t sound quite like a senior. Unless it was some wild and hippy senior with a very active sex drive.

I need to I find out that there’s no one living upstairs? That’s when I run, not walk to the mental institute because that’s when I’ve lost my mind totally.

The walls reveal a lot, sometimes my neighbour on the east side (not the loonies upstairs), we sometimes shower together which creeps me out, their bathroom is next to mine. They just moved in recently, the old lady moved out a couple months ago and apparently she has lived here for 33 years. Anyway, my new neighbours beside me are a young straight couple and the guy is really cute, I think, I briefly bumped into them. I even know when they argue because the bitch yells like a moron. Perhaps, they’re having sex too, who knows.

Time for me to move out. This is a ‘real’ apartment building with separate units like every other building and it feels like I’m living in a rooming house with ghosts having sex. 

One of these nights, I am gonna drop the morals, values and all that crap, and have wild sex all night long with some JOE BLOW (just cause I got no one else to play the part, mostly because I’m crazy and freakish) and give the neighbours some of their own medicine. And when I pay back, it’s twice as hard, so  I’m gonna run around my apartment at 2am with a whip, shake the bed like the exorcist has arrived and mooooooannnn very very loud, as music ‘Erotica’ is playing loud.

And I am not joking.

I’m taking applications. Any takers?


I received notice from Warner Music, that they’re going to be monitoring my Madonna videos that I’ve got posted on Youtube. They’re monetizing the video, which means they’re authorizing it to remain posted as long as they monitor statistics and post ads in conjunction with the video.

Speaking of which, I’ve been given access to purchase presale tickets tomorrow morning for Madonna’s concert. At $370 a ticket, what can you lose?? LOL.. And now they have special packages where you can waste even more money that includes a LAMINATED pass to a postshow little Madonna party which includes Madonna music and some nachos, a "special gift not found anywhere" and excellent seats for $550. So, I’m familiar with all this concert crap and they had these ‘stupid packages for stupid people’ for the other shows (Beyonce, Janet, Bon Jovi, Christina Aguerlia etc) I’ve been to the package included a ‘meet and greet’ with the celebrity. Madonna’s ‘special packages’ doesn’t have that…TYPICAL LEO!

Ok, I need a life.

Isn’t that the life, eh? For someone as famous as her to go on concerts whenever she wants, whenever the money runs low and quickly get earn millions by selling tickets outrageously high and laughing her way to the bank. Rich bitch.

Before I pay anything, I need to know if it’s a good show, so I will be waiting until the last minute to buy tickets, until then I want to hear the reviews and see bootlegged video images on YouTube before I make the choice.

I’ve been been to quite a few concerts in my life time and I would say that the best concert I’ve been to so far is ‘Beyonce’s’, I’m not a hardcore fan but the concert was full of energy and very entertaining, and I know it was good because I didn’t look at my watch not once, that’s a sign that you’re having a good time.

Ok, time for sleep with orgasms ghosts.

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